Must Read Books on Sex and Relationships

Here are some highly recommended books on sex and relationships that can provide valuable insights, practical advice, and deeper understanding into all the facets that we explore when we consider what makes a good, safe, and healthy sex life on our own terms.

Sex and Intimacy

1. “Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life” by Emily Nagoski

- Focuses on the science of female sexuality and how understanding it can improve sexual well-being.

2. “She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman” by Ian Kerner

- Focuses on the importance of female pleasure and provides practical techniques for enhancing it.

3. “Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence” by Esther Perel

- Explores the paradox of maintaining desire in long-term relationships and offers insights on how to keep passion alive.

4. “ACE: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex” by Angela Chen

- This book will help anyone trying to explore and understand the societal pressures around sex and identity.

5. “Girls and Sex” and Boys and Sex” by Peggy Orenstein

- Two books to support parents with supporting their kids with modern sex education and why they desperately need more education.

6. “Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships” by Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy and Dr. Jennifer Vencill

Communication

7. “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Dr. Sue Johnson

- Based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), this book provides strategies for creating lasting love and connection.

8. “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love” by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

- Explains attachment theory and how understanding your attachment style can improve your relationships.

9. “Love More, Fight Less: A Relationship Workbook for Couples” by Gina Senarighi

Conflict Resolution

10. “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman and Nan Silver

- Provides research-based principles for strengthening marriage and preventing divorce.

11. “Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples” by Harville Hendrix

- Offers practical advice and exercises to improve communication and intimacy in relationships.

Sexual Health and Well-being

12. “Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters—and How to Get It” by Dr. Laurie Mintz

- Addresses the orgasm gap and provides practical advice for achieving sexual satisfaction.

13. “Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire” by Dr. Lori Brotto

- Combines mindfulness practices with sexual health to enhance desire and satisfaction.

14. “Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms” by Matthias Roberts

- Helps ALL readers overcome shame and identify their sexuality on their terms.

15. “The Vagina Bible” by Dr. Jen Gunter

- A no nonsense and comprehensive guide to everything you’d want to know about the vagina and vulva written by an OB-GYN.

16. “Tell Me What You Want” by Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller

- What do you really want? A book that explores our sexual fantasies and what they reveal about us based on an unprecedented survey.

While we tried to make this list as inclusive as possible, there are undoubtedly some missing. Do you have a recommendation? A book that helped you along your sexual journey in some way? We’d love to hear your thoughts!